My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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