marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
