so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?