Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?

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  (734): Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you? http://tfl.nu/kjun
  Replies (18) Good night (3591) Bad night (1055)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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  (919): i must have dtf stamped on my forehead http://tfl.nu/gk7r
  Replies (41) Good night (2956) Bad night (756)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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  (813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec
  Replies (70) Good night (7227) Bad night (729)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad

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  (702): Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad http://tfl.nu/156q
  Replies (61) Good night (7289) Bad night (795)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

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  (978): he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket http://tfl.nu/jdxn
  Replies (42) Good night (751) Bad night (4851)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.

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  (336): You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed. http://tfl.nu/cedv
  Replies (101) Good night (9993) Bad night (1322)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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  (519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug
  Replies (29) Good night (6589) Bad night (1252)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

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  (513): Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon. http://tfl.nu/dsce
  Replies (9) Good night (1199) Bad night (2394)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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  (215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (937)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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  (720): I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship" http://tfl.nu/hte5
  Replies (14) Good night (1419) Bad night (726)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (543)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1832) Bad night (513)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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  (216): For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy. (1-216): Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry. http://tfl.nu/kldv
  Replies (9) Good night (513) Bad night (726)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.

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  (303): Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling. http://tfl.nu/esxc
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (305)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  I still maintain we were not that drunk......

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!

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  (810): Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room. (1-810): I still maintain we were not that drunk...... (810): Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down! http://tfl.nu/mzkd
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (300)

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