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• (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  How are you feeling today?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.

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