Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  it's more of a rinse.

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  (773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k
  Replies (66) Good night (1456) Bad night (2513)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis

  (757): View more from Virginia

  your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.

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  (443): Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis (757): your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though. http://tfl.nu/xhh4
  Replies (46) Good night (5526) Bad night (1997)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
  Replies (52) Good night (12857) Bad night (818)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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  (847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu
  Replies (7) Good night (1509) Bad night (4250)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5200) Bad night (1281)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

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  (801): we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha http://tfl.nu/k58e
  Replies (20) Good night (7240) Bad night (885)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2150) Bad night (1203)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.

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  (513): We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking. http://tfl.nu/l4c2
  Replies (16) Good night (1329) Bad night (4634)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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  (520): you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab http://tfl.nu/m7xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (750)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.

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  (817): Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer. http://tfl.nu/fjqn
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (490)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends

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  (304): I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends http://tfl.nu/jtxo
  Replies (6) Good night (515) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

  (1+44): View more from

  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1542) Bad night (345)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.

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  (908): We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe. http://tfl.nu/0uet
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (264)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!

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  (954): I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR! http://tfl.nu/8pod
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (232)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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  (256): We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important. http://tfl.nu/x4o0
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (173)

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