I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
