there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
