ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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