Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
