its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
