Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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