There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
handjob tips. give me some.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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