i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize