I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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