Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
