The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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