its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
