Whod you bang
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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