I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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