Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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