I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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