last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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