We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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