whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
