I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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