I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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