I love having hate sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
