The maid of honor just puked.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
