I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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