i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
