seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
