I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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