I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize