Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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