just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
