just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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