worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
