Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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