I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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