Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
