i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
