Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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