I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
NoShamevember. You game?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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