There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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