Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
