I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
