i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
