Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
