You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize