The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We had to coat check the pizza.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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