idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
