my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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