Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
be right there i have to get my cape
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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