i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
