**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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