i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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