hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
