my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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