how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
