somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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