ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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