apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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