Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
