It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize