OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
