He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
